Posted: 11:00 a.m. Monday, Oct. 21, 2013
This is my favorite week of the year, you guys. Yep, it's better than Christmas, my birthday, my anniversary, every state holiday, Hanukkah and the summer solstice COMBINED.
Nashville. Lived there for 3 years. Awful town, awful people, awful traffic...
The Tennessee River. Obvious reason is obvious.
Country music. See Nashville above.
Opryland. It's a combo of Nashville, rednecks and country music. What's not to hate?
Dolly Parton. Fake boobs. Awful voice. Stupid theme park. In the Mountains.
Mountains. They make you really tired when climbing. They are so high..why are they so high? Leaves turn orange in the fall.
Orange. No one ever looks good in orange. In fact, orange makes even the hottest woman alive look like an uglier version of Roseanne Barr. If my wife liked orange, I wouldn't have married her. Also see: Orange Juice, Orange Gatorade, Orange Popsicles, Orange crayons, Orange books, ties, shirts, people, clouds and orange food..If CrossFit was the color orange, I'd hate that too.
Jack Daniel's. A detestable beverage that burns on the way down. What a perfect description of Tennessee.
Coca-cola. It's associated with Jack Daniel's, which is located in Tennessee...So of course it deserves my hate.
Memphis BBQ- WHY ARE YOU SO SWEET?! If I wanted to eat meat with sloppy sugar on top, I'd make a BBQ popsicle.
Peyton Manning or any Manning for that matter. Needs no explanation. HATE. HATE. HATE.
Snow. Does it fall in Tennessee? YEP. #hate.
Rain. See reason for hating snow above.
Cracker Barrel. Started in Tennessee. Their biscuits suck and the crap they sell in their store is over priced garbage.
Every Tennessee player, coach, fan, cheerleader, dog, any metal or wood used to build Neyland Stadium, their stupid "navy", the letters T, E. S and N, the checker board pattern, and let's not forget Phillip Fulmer.